


From Eden

by PinkGold



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cat Tony Stark, Dreams, Druid Steve Rogers, Established Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, Fluff and Angst, Getting Together, Healing, M/M, Magic, Potions, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Serious Injuries, Shapeshifting, Sleepy Cuddles, Trust Issues, White Wolf Bucky Barnes, so many mushrooms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-13
Updated: 2020-01-18
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:27:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22243315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PinkGold/pseuds/PinkGold
Summary: Bucky singlehandedly burns down the worst clan that ever lived in the Forest. He's on the run when he meets a fearless cat, a cat that will change his life forever.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, James "Bucky" Barnes/Tony Stark, Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Comments: 99
Kudos: 322
Collections: Ironwinter fics by Egg, StarkSpangledWinter Wonderland Event





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> It's done!! I'm so excited to finally share this with everyone! I've been working on this non-stop since before Christmas and now it's finally ready!
> 
>  _Stuckony Server SWF prompt 49. Witch/Werewolf/Catshifter fantasy AU, where Steve is a powerful witch in a tiny body, Bucky is a wounded werewolf, and Tony is the cat familiar who brings them all together._  
>  I changed a few details, like instead of a Witch, Steve is a powerful Druid and in this AU werewolves and wolfshifters are the same thing.
> 
> A huge shoutout for [Swisstae](https://archiveofourown.org/users/swisstae/pseuds/swisstae) who not only was there for me all the time but also helped me shape this bad boy into perfection. Also a thanks for [ANTchan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ANTchan/pseuds/ANTchan) who listened to me ranting about this without telling me to shut up.  
> Love you guys. 
> 
> With that being said, hope you guys enjoy!! <3 
> 
> (Title from a Hozier song!)

The Forest is a dangerous place to be on your own, particularly during a full moon night, and especially in human form. Bucky knew it all, but it didn’t stop him from doing exactly just that.

At least he outwit what was left of the clan. He did it a couple of kilometers away, but precaution was never a bad thing. Even more so when dealing with the best trackers out there. 

With a heavy grunt, he sat down against a sturdy rock in the middle of a clearing and couldn’t help the throaty sound of pain that left his lips as his left arm jolted in pain.  _ Oh hell _ , he examined it, grimacing. The damage was worse than he expected. That Brock wolfshifter didn’t go easy on him. Bucky could still feel his teeth clawing inside in his arm, nearly grazing his bone.

The good part was that he had been in his wolf form when he attacked, so out of the two of them, he at least got out alive. The world won’t be missing someone like Brock. But even winning, his rapid healing might not be able to salvage it.

His breath was still coming on heavy from the run, and his senses were acutely aware of every crick and flap from the nocturnal animals around him, yet the heat from the fire and the screams from the now dead clan still followed him like a calming lullaby.

As he lay there, in the stillness of the night, some of his immediate panic began to subside, but not enough to allow him to fall asleep --he definitely wasn’t sleeping anytime soon, not in the pitch darkness of the night-- but enough to sit back and breathe. His heart pulsating within his ears, but he trusted his eyes enough to catch any movement. No wonder Hydra called him the ‘sniper’ of the clan.

Every time Bucky caught himself trying to doze off, he would pinch his legs or slap his face. He couldn’t sleep, he had to stay alert. Good thing he was half nocturnal, especially on full moons.

It wasn’t until the first rays of light came shining through the treetops, giving them a golden crown, that he relaxed enough to let himself fall asleep, knowing he was safe, at least for now. He needed to get those few hours of sleep before they scented him. Bucky couldn’t stay in the same place for more than a couple of hours without his scent being captured by one of the trackers.

So now that he’d got a great head start, he used it wisely. 

The sun was had risen above the treetops and was now shining brightly on his face, forcing him to wake up with a disgruntled groan, sweat beads forming on his forehead. He didn’t remember ever feeling so thirsty in his whole life.

Bucky tried to make himself more comfortable but a sharp pain that came from his wounded arm stopped him mid action and panic constricted around his throat. How was he going to continue his flight if even the slightest movement hurt?

A dark figure running on his right caught his eye. He froze, moving into a defensive stance but regretted it shortly after, for the throbbing pain began again, but he still managed to see what was approaching.

The cat had stopped running and was now looking dead straight into Bucky’s eyes, unblinking. If he didn’t see it moving before, Bucky would have sworn it was a statue.

_ Fuck _ , he thought, biting the inside of his lips. In his experience, black cats never meant anything good. 

He kept an eye on it, looking for any sign that the cat would be moving anytime soon, but lost his patience after an hour or so. He reclined against the rock again and decided to growl, hoping the cat would take the hint, like most normal animals would. But instead, it decided to approach, much to Bucky’s chagrin.

The cat walked elegantly, its short and silky fur shining against the three o’clock sun as it stopped just out of Bucky’s arm range. It lay down, resting one of his paws over the other and once again focused his inexpressive eyes on him.

Fuck me, Bucky thought.

At some point he probably passed out from blood loss or pain — even  _ he _ had some limits—because when he woke up the sun had already set, only weak rays of sunlight illuminated the clearing, filtering it in a beautiful shade of blue. He stiffened, all thoughts of the cat from earlier coming back to mind.

He looked around, searching desperately for the cat until his eyes fell on his lap. The cat was tucked into a ball on his lap, sleeping peacefully.

His nostrils flared and his right hand shook as he fisted the grass under him until the roots gave out. Bucky did all he could to stop himself from grabbing the cat by the back of his neck and throwing it to the other side of the clearing.

He couldn’t fall back on bad patterns again. The  _ thing  _ inside him that told him to execute the innocent cat for coming this close wasn’t him. He took a trembling breath and closed his eyes, counting to twenty to get things under control.  _ It wasn’t him. _

That was all Hydra’s doing.

Thankfully, his arm had stopped throbbing, which eased most of the pain and got his focus back in order. It was now or never, Bucky needed to get out of there. 

Had to run before they found him. 

The cat stirred gently and purred, as if it was momentarily confused by his surroundings. It stared at him with those big beautiful crystal blue eyes —and seriously, he was getting tired of this— and meowed, his entire body contracting with it. Bucky hissed as the cat clawed at his tights before jumping off yet he didn’t do anything about it.

He frowned, watching the cat walk back from the path it came before it stopped, turned his head back and meowed at Bucky. 

Did the cat want Bucky to follow? 

It blinked once, waiting patiently as Bucky made up his mind. The cat hadn’t been hostile, not even when Bucky tried to warn it away.

He pondered for a second, watching its tail swaying lazily from one side to another. For some reason, he trusted this cat. So strange of him to trust anyone but himself, so he couldn’t let that feeling slip away.

Hydra didn’t thrive over soldiers bonding, no asset had friends inside. There were alliances, sure, but one could never be too careful. Bucky had been extra careful. No one dared to look at him the wrong way, they knew the consequences. That had been the only way he found to survive those five years.

Just as he made up his mind, a lone howling reached his ears from far away into the night, arriving with a chilling breeze. Bucky probably rose to his feet faster than was recommended in his condition. A sharp breath left his throat from the dizzying pain that came from his arm.

Hopefully he would have enough strength to follow the cat, he thought, looking back at the Forest’s crooked trees. 

His stomach broke the silence, grumbling in protest for the lack of food. Maybe on the way, he should try to find some food as well.

Behind him, somewhere, the fire over the main Hydra base should be fading soon into ashes.


	2. One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go again!!   
> I think I forgot to say it before but I'll be posting daily updates!!   
> Hoep you enjoy reading!! <3

Bucky woke up feeling his head spinning even with his eyes shut. There was a distinctive smell in the air, of herbs and soil, a lot of earthy tones. He let himself enjoy the first few moments after waking up, but immediately tensed when someone started humming. He snapped his eyes open, but couldn’t see much more than a curved ceiling made of sandy matte light wood.

Something kept him in place when he tried shifting in place, and he panicked, trying to recall how the hell did he end up wherever he was.

He’d followed the cat into the woods and had walked over what felt a few kilometers, watching the last streaks of sunlight fade away leaving them in the dense darkness of the Forest. Not that it troubled him, his wolf senses covered most of what would normally be a problem to a person.

The cat had jolted to an abrupt stop at some point, and Bucky remembered hearing a few twigs cracking from somewhere beside him. But after that, his mind went blank.

Fuck. He struggled some more to get free from whatever it was that was pinning him down and panic crawled up his chest when he failed. He couldn’t control his breathing anymore, he needed to get out, he couldn’t—

Something soft caressed the right side of his naked (oh God, where was his shirt) torso. Bucky flinched before opening his eyes and getting face to face with none other than the cat.

That relaxed him, a bit. At least he didn’t get separated from his newfound friend. He closed his eyes and got his breath under control before speaking.

“Where did you take me, little one?” his voice was rough, probably because he was speaking for the first time since everything started. Come to think of, he didn’t know how long it had passed since they left the clearing.

The humming was cut short and Bucky was intensely aware of the footsteps coming their way.

“Oh, great! You’re awake.” a cheerful voice said, and Bucky snapped his eyes towards it. He looked up to see a cute man with blond hair and deep blue eyes standing in the doorway. So fragile, he thought, talking in his small stature and thin complex.

If Bucky hadn’t been worried for his own survival, he would feel the urge to protect this man.

The blonde cleaned his hands on the apron he was wearing, not really doing a great job, since the apron seemed to be just as dirty as his hands and sat on the corner of Bucky’s bed. He exchanged looks with the cat, and nodded once, before returning his focus to Bucky.

“Hello there.” he gave Bucky a gentle smile, “I’m Steve Rogers, and this is Tony Stark, my familiar.” Tony meowed before getting back to more important business, like licking his paws.

Bucky nodded, but kept his mouth shut. His brain was working a million miles per hour to tell if this man should or should not be trusted. Steve didn’t seem frazzled by his lack of words, and if he did, he didn’t show it.

“So,” Steve continued, “Tony here found you out there and brought you to our house.” he gestured around. Bucky couldn’t see much aside from them and maybe a table in the corner, and since he couldn’t move, there was no use trying to. “And, uh, I just prepared some food, I hope you like mushrooms and rice.”

Bucky’s stomach grumbled, which told Steve all the answer he needed. Steve gave them a tiny smile and left to grab them food. Bucky frowned when Steve came back carrying three plates.

“Tony, why don’t you eat with us like a normal person?”

The cat scoffed dramatically but jumped off the bed and left the room.

A moment later and a handsome tall man with black hair entered the room, stretching his arms and groaning tiredly. 

“Hng, no one deserves to stay in cat form for so long.” he flopped down on a chair and grabbed a bowl of food for himself. It was when the man looked at Bucky that he was a hundred percent sure this man was the black cat that had been lying next to him, less than a second ago. They had the same striking bright eyes.

Tony was a catshifter. Okay.

Bucky didn’t let that get to him, because who was he to judge? He was a wolfshiter, he was in no place to shame another shifter.

“Want some?” Steve offered him the bowl. Bucky stared and blinked.

“I can’t.” he stated and struggled against his restraints. He watched as Steve eyes widened and his face became red.

“Gosh, I’m so sorry.” Steve said embarrassed and swayed his hands in the air. Just like that, he could move the entire top part of his body. He gave one bowl to Bucky and started eating his own.

Tony groaned, breaking the silence, his eyes closed in bliss, long eyelashes almost touching his cheeks, Bucky noticed.

“This is so  _ good _ , Stevie, as always.” he smirked at Steve, elongated cat fangs peeking out. Steve smiled back sheepishly and dug in his own plate.

Bucky took his first bite then, and was taken aback at the explosion of flavours that rose in his mouth. He never had anything as good as those mushrooms. He chewed that first bite for as long as he could but soon he had to swallow it. Not that it was a problem, he still had an entire bowl full with this heavenly food.

He snapped out of his own world after a few bites, as he noticed how silent it had become. Both men had put their plates down and were looking at him expectantly when he ventured a glance. Bucky felt uncomfortable under their gaze, suddenly aware of himself, not really used to people looking at him like that. It reminded him he had to leave as soon as possible.

Even with the great food and (maybe) great hospitality, Bucky couldn’t wait till he could get out of this place. They seemed nice and all, but he was a lone wolf, and he couldn’t wait to go back to being that. The fear of being found by Hydra didn’t compare to his need to be alone.

“What?” he asked, and it broke the spell. They both tensed, Tony quickly averted his eyes while Steve coughed awkwardly.

“Did you like it?” Tony asked as he cocked his head to the side.

Bucky examined Tony --human, cat,  _ shifter, _ Tony-- before concluding for the second time in the last (probably) 24 hours he could trust the man. His eyes were so… sincere. Bucky trusted Tony only wanted to help.

“It’s good.” it was all he said, which wasn’t at all a lie.

“We have more if you want.” Steve said, barely containing the happiness in his voice, and pointed to somewhere outside the room. 

They got back to eating in silence. At least he did. Bucky couldn’t help but notice Steve and Tony were in some kind of eye conversation, and it was probably getting heated, if the frowns on their faces were anything to go by.

Bucky mentally shrugged and got back to enjoying his food. He didn’t care and wasn’t going to stay long enough to care about them or their problems.

“So,” Steve sat back more stiffer than before, “we finally are face to face with the one and only Winter Soldier.”  _ Oh, _ Bucky gulped some of his food through the tightness growing on his throat, _ he said it.  _ Bucky was waiting for it, waiting for all the niceties to drop and they mentioned the  _ white  _ elephant in the room. A part of him hoped they wouldn’t, but they did.

Bucky couldn’t breathe. Hydra were the only ones to call him by that name, but the stories ran fast through the Forest. To be called by that after all he had gone through to clean his name and escape Hydra’s claws made his throat close. 

He had been Hydra’s most valuable asset, or that was what Prime Mage Pierce had told him. They had legions of warlocks, rogues and fighters, but who they prioritized the most were the werewolves. Efficient, easy to control, never left traces except for the bloodbath in their wake.

No one survived a Hydra’s wolf attack, even less so when the Winter Soldier was involved. 

Five years they took from Bucky. Five years and all his memories from the past.

It hadn’t been easy to escape, he knew. He barely survived it, his left arm was proof of that. If it weren’t for Tony, Bucky didn’t know what would have happened. But it didn’t matter anymore, he burned it to the ground, it would take them years to assemble themselves back together.

“Please, call me Bucky.” He knew his reputation preceded him, he had a notion of the havoc he wrecked in his times with Hydra. All that was connected to the name Winter Soldier. He shivered slightly just thinking about it. And as for Bucky…

Bucky didn’t remember much from his life before Hydra, so the things he did remember, mostly flashes and feelings, he kept close to heart, locked away so no one could take it from him. The nickname “Bucky” had been one of them.

He doesn’t know where it comes from, he just knows it feels right.

“Okay.” Stove nodded, but his expression sombered. A quick glance towards Tony told Bucky Steve wasn’t the only one whose face became dark. Tony looked pale and ready to puke. Bucky frowned, discomfort tightening around his skin.

“Why did you bring me here?” he asked as the thought came to mind.

Tony blinked, looking at Bucky curiously, some of the color from his face already coming back.

“You looked like you needed help,” he answered, simply.

“But you guys know who I am.” The frown was definitely going to become a natural part of him soon. “Why did you help me?”

Tony and Steve exchanged looks again, but this time it felt heavier, more loaded with emotions than Bucky could discern.

“You look like a good person.” Steve said. Bucky mentally snorts. They didn’t know half the stuff he did in the past, they didn’t know shit. Bucky was a lot of things, but a good person was not one of them. “And I know that Hydra will be looking for you, but the chances of them finding you here are small, especially after how the main base mysteriously burned down yesterday.” the man narrowed his eyes at Bucky.

The feeling of wanting to run away and lick his wounds alone only intensified.

Speaking of wounds, his arm didn’t twinge or throb ever since he woke up. He had completely forgotten about it. When he looked down, he saw it neatly wrapped with beige bandages that covered most of his arm. He couldn’t move it, still, and probably, if his speculation was right, well…

Bucky didn’t want to think about that right now.

“I put some paste to soothe the pain. Doesn’t work long term, though.” Steve said, noticing Bucky looking at the arm. “Best would be to take it off.”

Bucky tensed and flinched, frowning. Anxiety rose from his stomach.

“...or not, whatever you want.” Tony intervened, shrugging and chewing on his mushrooms.

“When are you going to free me?” he asked, pointing at his legs and changing the subject, “Don’t think I didn’t notice there are still magic restraints around them.” He snorts, dryly, grim smirk sneaking on his face, “Are you afraid of me?”

Steve eyes fell sadly and he shook his head.

“Of course not,” he scrapped out, “It was easier to clean the wound with you restrained… and it’s better if you don’t move much. It’s not… looking that good.”

Bucky’s mind went blank for a moment before it rebooted itself.

“What are you guys?” he asked in disbelief. “A shifter and a forest witch whose hobbies involves taking strays home?” he had to hold back a laugh. Nothing about this made any sense. “What is it that you want from me?”

Steve grimaced, looking at Tony as Tony closed his eyes, pitching the bridge of his nose.

“It’s druid… not forest witch. And no, Bucky, we don’t do this to everyone, we just…”

“Just what?”

“Thought you would want some amicable help, Jesus Christ.” Tony threw his hands up, exasperated. “Word travels around the forest, we know who you are and how you escaped on your own free will. Not everyone will be as welcoming to you as we are, so please, don’t go ruining our hospitality by being a  _ knucklehead.” _

He eyes locked with Tony’s stormy gaze for a few seconds before he settled back in the bed.

“Okay.” Bucky said.

They frowned.

“Okay?” Steve asked, sounding lost.

“Yeah, I needed that. Thank you, Tony.” The harsh words, they worked with him. 

And somehow Bucky knew that even as Tony said that, they weren’t going to throw him out. Maybe he could trust them.

_ Knucklehead, _ he liked that.

Most of the tension in the room seemed to snap away just like that. And for some reason, it calmed him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAAA here we GO!! Now that the prologue is d o n e, here comes the real juicy stuff!!   
> What did you think? Comments and Kudos are always welcomed!!   
> You can also find me over my tumblr at [sparkly-angell](https://sparkly-angell.tumblr.com/) and support me over [ko-fi](https://ko-fi.com/pinkgold)!! thank you! <3


	3. Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyaa!! Thank you for all your lovely comments on yesterday's chapter, they warmed my heart :')!! Here comes more!

Bucky was cold. Dammit, why was he cold? He shuddered out a gasp, but that only served to spread the fiery pain over his body. His long hair was tangled and plastered to his forehead with sweat.

Feeling cold and sweating was never a good sign.

His head spun in a maddening delirium as the ceiling circled around in slow motion. He moaned painfully. God, how he hated fevers.

Smothered thuds sounded somewhere in the mix of whimpers and sharp breaths. Was he the one making them? Bucky didn’t know.

Next thing he knew, Steve appeared in his vision, also swaying around at a nauseating pace. Bucky thinks he said something, but Steve’s lips were moving too fast for him to follow. He frowned and tried harder, but still nothing. Whatever Steve was saying wasn’t filtering through his ears. 

A moment later and Tony was there too, moving around too fast and too slow at the same time. His cat ears were out facing backwards. A sudden wave of concern for Tony went through his body in the middle of all the throbs. Bucky closed his eyes, but the nausea only got worse in the darkness. Warm hands shook his right shoulder until his eyes were open again.

Tony and Steve weren’t where Bucky had last seen them before he closed his eyes. Actually, he wasn’t either. They had lifted him to a sitting position against the wall, pillow comforting his back so it wasn’t too stiff on him.

Steve had his entire focus on the bandages on his arms, while Tony pressed a cold cloth over his temple. That felt good, he relaxed at the coldness.

He watched through the haze as they argued about something, until Steve grabbed a flask and opened over Bucky’s nose. 

“Bucky. Breathe this.” He instructed.

He didn’t think twice before inhaling the contents of the flask. The acrid odor that rose his nose was distinctively of old mold mixed with some scented roots and water. It only worsened his nausea, but his vision soon started to blur on the edges, until everything was dark once more. 

-

When Bucky blinked his eyes open again, the sun was already filtering through the window right on his face. He grumbled half awake, ready to fall back to sleep but then jolted straight in bed, remembering about last night.

His left shoulder was patched with a clear set of bandages, numb once more. Bucky couldn’t recall much from last night, except maybe a putrid smell of sorts. A note was sticking out from under a brown flask on the table. ‘Drink after waking up, it’s for pain. Steve.’ it read, once Bucky could manage to make out the words through the haze of the pain. He eyed the bottle suspiciously before deciding it was best not to risk it.

The birds chirping outside caught his attention then. Bucky watched them flying around each other in a messy dance before jumping from one branch to another in companionship. Bucky sighed.

He couldn’t remember the last time he had a companion. Of course, the pack of werewolves Hydra threw him into didn’t count. They weren’t his companions, they were nobody’s companion. They had a job, and they did it together, or died trying.

But someone to be there for him as a friend, who he didn’t consider an outsider from his life. Someone he could trust with everything he had and knew that they trusted him back. Someone to be there for him, someone he cared about. That’s what he missed.

Bucky only knows he’s missing out because deep inside, he remembers the feeling from a time long lost.

He froze after shuffling in bed, shocked, his legs weren’t restrained anymore. He moved them again tentatively and almost let a glorifying yelp after raising one of them in the air. He can move again.

With some difficulty, he shifted around until he sat in the middle of the bed and only then he let his curiosity get the best of him and looked around. Just as he had thought, he was in Steve’s potions room or a makeshift medbay of sorts.

Aside from the bed, which was extremely soft and comfortable (Bucky only realized it now that he got all his senses back) there was a long table in front of the window on his right. It had been delicately made of light wood, a tad lighter than the concave walls, with celtic looking details engraved in a darker brown.

Over it sat a collection of glasswares and plants, both in pots or loose around the table, dry and alive. A mountain of loose papers laid next to a feather pen, set apart from the herbs and pastes.

Aside from that, the room looked normal. There was a chair tucked under the table, a few frames on the walls, although they were turned away, but Bucky didn’t pay much attention to them. He wasn’t one to pry into other people's business.

On his left, there was an empty copper bathtub. Fancy.

Bucky got up on his wobbly feet and walked through the archway to the main room. First thing he noticed was that there weren’t many doors in the druid’s hut. Aside from the front door, which he assumed was the big one with adornments in shiny iron, there was only another one, probably Steve’s and Tony’s room.

Which made sense because if they wanted privacy to do their own stuff, an archway wasn’t the way to get it.

The main room was simple. Another wooden table sat in the center, a bigger, wider one. Suspended over it, there was a small chandelier designed with crystal ornaments and white candles.

The kitchen was only divided from the main room by a counter, and it didn’t look very spacious, from where Bucky was standing. He could see two cauldrons, one which Bucky suspected was for Steve’s potions, and a bowl of berries over the counter.

Aside from that, nothing. No one either. Bucky felt like an intruder in the house and quickly made his way outside. A few meters from the front porch was the Forest, but the trees from this side weren’t so frightening. No, they looked inviting. 

He went around the hut, and was awestruck by the view. A few trees scattered over vast and open fields, a completely different landscape than he was used to. The fields stretched out to as far as he could see, edging to meet the sky at the point where they collided. They went forever, fields and hills merging together in the most natural way. His vision was so less cluttered, it was peaceful.

Bucky could see himself getting used to this.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Tony said from behind him. He didn’t hear the shifter coming up to him, but it didn’t bother him, not really. He nodded, not turning his face away from the view. “Steve was the one to choose this spot to settle down. Said it was better to stay away from the heart of the Forest, no peace in the middle of that mess.”

Bucky nodded. There was no peace indeed, he knew it.

They watched as the golden grass swayed in time with the autumn breeze, both admiring it in silence until Bucky’s mind clicked back into motion.

“I never thanked you for helping me back in the clearing.”

Tony blinked at him with his big eyes before waving his hands dismissively.

“Don’t worry, Bucky, it’s no biggie.” He turned to face back the fields, “I couldn’t leave you there, and I’m sure Steve wouldn’t either.” 

“Speaking of, where is he?”

“He went to collect some herbs for you.” Tony pointed his thumb behind them towards the Forest.

Bucky almost choked.

“Alone? In the Forest?”

Tony snorted, rolling his eyes good naturedly. 

“He’s stronger than he looks.”

“Have you seen his size?” Bucky demonstrated with his hand Steve’s size, momentarily confused as to how he knew the druid’s exact size. His perception must be better than he thought. “They are going to eat him from breakfast.”

He shut his mouth then, before it looked like he was too worried about Steve. Still, Bucky knew intimately the kind of evil that the Forest contained, its deep foliage concealing fear and lust that would entrap anyone within its snares and he didn’t want that for anyone. Maybe if he wasn’t too far from the hut, Bucky could still catch up and--

“Stop that.” Tony smirked and rolled his eyes again.

“Stop what?”

“Worrying.” he raised his eyebrows, shutting Bucky up before he had the chance to protest. “Steve will be fine, trust me. Come help me with lunch, will ya?”

-

Steve arrived at the hut just in time for supper, and Bucky, having come up with innumerable scenarios where Steve had been waylaid in the Forest with no back-up, felt exhausted.

After lunch, Tony gave him the official tour around their house, indoors and outdoors, even showing him how to grab water from the well near a shallow pond. If anything, it was amusing watching Tony follow the fish’s movements with cat-like interest.

When they got back inside, Tony excused himself and closed the bedroom door behind him, so Bucky went back to the medbay and slept almost the entire afternoon, only waking up by the sunset, with a painful jolt of his arm. He’d thought sleeping was going to give him more energy, but it only seemed to drain him more. 

Bucky dragged himself out of bed and into the living room, and found Tony already cooking dinner.

“Want any help?” he offered, and Tony only smiled in return.

He mostly ignored the throbbing from his arm. It wasn’t as awful as it had been, so he dealt with it. They’d been putting the plates down when Steve came through the door, face smudged with dirt and in desperate need of some shut-eye. He slumped his leather bag down against the wall unceremoniously.

“Hey guys.” he grumbled, not sparing them a glance before he shut the bedroom door behind him. Tony only shrugged when Bucky shoot him a questioning look.

Steve came back not ten minutes later, fresher than before. Even his smile seemed renewed. They sat down around the table, grabbing bowls and cutlery before digging in. Bucky hadn’t realized he had been hungry until he caught himself grabbing more food to eat.

“Go on.” Steve said amusedly, “Eat as much as you want.”

He didn’t need to be told twice.

“So how was it, Steve?” Tony asked after swallowing, “Bucky here got worried about you out there alone.” Steve shot Bucky a sweet smile.

“It was tiring, if I’m being totally honest. The herb I needed is only found in one specific hill in the northeast, and since it’s the main herb of the concoction, there was no way around--” Steve froze, paying better attention at Bucky. He frowned, studying Bucky with a scrutinizing glace before his month falls for a quick second. Bucky didn’t have time to feel exposed before Steve continued. “You didn’t take the medicine, did you?” 

Steve tried hard to hide the disappointment in his voice, Bucky heard his attempt, but it wasn’t enough, not on someone who was used to hear that tone.

“How did you know?” Bucky asked, once again feeling cornered.

“I know the symptoms of that draught by heart, and you sure as hell aren’t showing them. Actually, you are looking worse than early this morning when I checked on you.” 

Bucky shook his head, not trusting his voice to say the right thing. Why should I trust you, he wanted to say, it could have been poison. But he couldn't say that, not to the men who'd brought him to their house, and fed and clothed him. He turned his face away, feeling guilty before catching a hold of himself. Why did he feel so bad for disappointing Steve? He barely knew the man, so why was this so hard?

“I guess we didn’t give you enough reasons to trust us.” Tony said, the cheerful tone he had been carrying the entire day disappearing. Bucky was exasperated.

“I’m sorry?” he tried, “I’m sure you guys are amazing, but it’s hard to trust so openly just after--” he gulps around the knot in his throat, “just after I got away. And it’s so confusing for me, ‘cause I don’t trust people easily, I really don’t, but then I catch myself half trusting you two without a second thought and it takes me off balance.” he pinched his leg to ground him, “I don’t know why that happens, but I do, and it’s infuriating not knowing why. Even talking so openly like this is strange, I don’t  _ get it.” _

“Yeah, okay.” Tony breathed out, looking pale, reminding him of last night in his room. Tony clapped his hands together, wide smile plastered on his face. Fake. “Well, the food was really good. Of course it was, I made it. But I gotta head to bed, it’s late and I’m super tired. Steve, never ask me to make  _ both _ lunch and dinner again, you hear? So tiring.” he got up hurriedly, and Bucky noticed his hands were slightly shaking. “Goodnight Bucky-head. See you tomorrow.” 

In two strides, Tony was in front of the bedroom door, swinging it open in a fast motion. Before the door closed, though, Bucky’s skillful eyes caught the tips of the pair of Tony’s cat ears pricking out.

Bucky knew that wasn’t a good sign.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !!!!! oAo Bucky stop fuckin up!!!! Anyways, how was it??


	4. Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gaaaah~~ :' ) you guys are TOO sweet! <3 <3 I love you!!   
> Hope this chapter doesn't disappoint!

_ “Bucky, hey, wake up. Sun’s going to burn you, you doofus.” the voice said. _

_ Bucky smiled and grabbed the back of the person’s neck, bringing it to rest on his chest. He had his eyes closed, but he could feel the person’s smile against his skin. _

_ “Just for a little while, I’m sure he won’t even notice.” _

_ “You are stupid to think he hadn’t already noticed.”  _

_ He snorted, playful smile still on his lips as he started running his fingers over the person’s silky hair. _

_ “Just for a little while…” _

Bucky rested his head against the wall, eyes glued at the window, trying to recall more details from his dream before a timid knocking came from the entryway. Steve stood there, holding a rectangle tray with two cups and a flask. He looked at Bucky expectantly.

“Can I come in?” he asked, and waited until Bucky nodded before getting closer.

“Good morning.” Bucky offered, feeling the tension from last night sipping back into his skin.

“How are you feeling today?” Steve went straight to the point, and it shouldn’t have hurt as much as it did.

“It hurts.” he decided being trueful about it was in his best interest.

Steve nodded and placed the tray down on the table. He uncapped the flask and poured its content in the two glasses. He offered one for Bucky and held the other one.

“Will you drink yours if I drink mine?” Steve asked in his most professional tone.

“Won’t it affect you in a bad way? It’s not like you need it.” he frowned. It seemed Steve would do anything to get him to drink it.

“It won’t, you don’t have to worry about it.”

Bucky didn’t answer, instead, looked down at the cup in his hand. The liquid inside was a solid pink, but as he moved the glass in his hand, he noticed it reflected golden flakes. He eyed Steve through his lashes. If he thought it was for the best, maybe it really was. Steve  _ was _ the experienced druid in this household.

“Yeah, ok.” Bucky gave his answer, and felt a little relief as Steve’s shoulders relaxed some of its tension. Steve drank it first, taking all in one go before dropping the cup back on the tray.

“See? I’m alive. Now you.”

He hesitated before closing his eyes and giving in. Bucky drank it like Steve had done, quick and painless. The aftertaste had hints of strawberry and bananas, which probably was the best part.

“It’s going to take a while for the effects to kick in, so if i were you, I’d lay for a while longer until the pain subside.” he was already gathering the plate and turning away. Something inside Bucky panicked.

“Hey, Steve,” he called back and Steve stopped in his tracks.

“What’s it?” he looked tired but Bucky didn’t want him to go, not yet.

“I…” he was in a lost of words. He opened and closed his mouth like a confused fish before finding something to say. “How’s Tony? He looked quite upset after diner.”

Steve’s eyes widened. He was the one speechless now.

“You noticed?”

“I-- well, yeah. I don’t--” he frowned and picked with the sheets, “I don’t know how, but I think I said something that upset him.”

Steve’s face softened around the edges. He stepped closer and wrapped his free arm around Bucky’s shoulders in a small hug. His mouth fell open in a ‘o’ shape, feeling Steve’s warmth wash over him.

Too soon he stepped away. He had a genuine smile on his face now, much more like the Steve he met two days ago, with a lot less tension in the air.

“It’s not your fault, ok? You don’t have to worry about it. Tony is just…” he took a long breath, “He’s emotional, but he’s going to be fine. I’ll tell him you were concerned and I’m sure he will feel better, ok?”

His brain processed too late that Steve was waiting for an answer.

“Y-yeah, ok. Thank you.” he stumbled around his words.

Steve smiled and turned to leave, but once again stopped and turned around.

“One more thing.” Steve pointed at the basin full of ashes from the homemade incense Steve had given last night, “Did it help?”

“Yes, it helped a lot. Thank you.”

Steve’s smile only grew.

“I’m glad to help. Now rest, it will hurt less in a few hours.”

Bucky obeyed, lying down again and fluffing his pillow for another nap, yet the places Steve had touched burned, making falling asleep tricky.

When he woke again, Tony was gently tugged next to his chest, purring contentedly as his black fur raised from his breathing. Bucky let out a soft sigh. He was forgiven.

-

The next weeks went much like the same. Sometimes Steve went on trips to search for herbs, but more often than not it was the three of them in the cabin, making food, helping Steve out with potions and occasionally watching Tony play with a few moths as the sun setted.

Bucky’s exhaustion mostly subsided after the fourth day, as did the pain, but he had a feeling both this things were due the medicine he took. If he stopped taking them, he had no doubt the fever would be back again.

His arm hadn’t healed, as he, unfortunately, expected. Bucky didn’t want to admit it, but the more he thought about it, the more Steve’s proposal sounded reasonable. But to lose one arm… He shook his head, feeling bitter taste wash over his mouth. Maybe no arm was better than a dead weight.

Regretfully, he was growing more and more found of both his house companions. Bucky tried to maintain a distance whenever he could, but they always kept asking him for help around the house, and how could he refuse? They were giving him a place to rest, to hide and to heal, with warm food and, he admitted, good company.

He couldn’t remember when was it that he stopped wanting to get away from this place.

It scared him how fast he settled in with them. For all the five years Hydra had him captive, he never felt like that with anyone. Most times, he forgets to raise his guard around them, and if that wasn’t one of the most terrifying things ever to happened to him, he didn’t know what is.

But Tony’s smiles disarmed him, as did Steve’s reassuring touches.

He blamed it on that first hug Steve’s given him.

And they didn’t seem to mind his company, on the contrary they  _ liked _ it. Steve and Tony looked so genuinely pleased everytime Bucky chose to sit by their sides and read one of Steve’s books, or when he didn’t hesitate when being asked to assist with chores he could do without one arm.

He… enjoyed it, yeah.

Bucky found himself relaxing easily. He didn’t eye Steve suspiciously every time he gave Bucky a flask to drink, didn’t jump whenever he found Tony sleeping soundly next to him in his cat form and became used to the rosemary aroma from the incense that lulled him to sleep.

As for sleep, Bucky slept more now, or should he say, more frequently. His insomnia was in a amicable truce with him recently, which, on one hand was good because he felt more rested, but on the other hand he felt… strange.

He started having frequent dreams.

They always followed the same pattern. He’s never alone, there’s always one person, most times two people with him, and he knows they are the same every time, even though he never seen their faces. There are times in his dreams where he hadn’t yet met one of them, but those were far in between.

Bucky was getting used now to wake up with the faint ghost feeling of a kiss, or a caress that he vividly experienced in dreams. Between two pairs of lips and gentle fingers, he made his nights. He can’t remember of a time he loved so passionately, in dream state or otherwise.

Not one night had gone by that he hadn’t had them. They happened close to morning, or that’s what his internal clock told him. Even now he found himself in one.

_ “Bucky, please, don’t get out of bed, it’s cold” he heard someone whining behind him. Bucky turned to look at them, and he instinctively knew there were two people in bed with him, but their faces were hidden behind soft pillows. _

_ “Just get closer to him, sweetheart, he’s a furnace.” Bucky snorted foundly, nudging his lovers closer to each other before getting out of bed. It was his day to pile woods from the Forest to light up the fireplace, and since he had a higher resistance towards the cold, he didn’t complain much. _

_ Everything to spare his lovers.  _

Steve’s face was the first thing he saw when he woke up. His heart missed a beat, caught off guard by how close Steve’s face was. He was checking Bucky’s bandages, a sort of morning routine before checking the incense hosted under Bucky’s bed.

“Good morning.” Steve said when he noticed Bucky awake.

“Hey,” he crooked out, “how is it looking today?”

Steve studied his face carefully with searching eyes before he clicked his tongue, looking resigned.

“The same. The paste won’t help more than it already has. I can keep it clean but… it’s not healing.”

Bucky hummed and fell back against his pillow, feeling his bad mood creeping over him like a coat. That sounded about right.

“Can I ask? What hit you?” he could hear the weariness in Steve’s voice.

“It was another wolfshifter.” Bucky answered, spearing Steve the details, “You know how we are, sharp teeth, born to kill.” his insides twisted darkly as he repeated the words he heard from Hydra since day one.

Steve face softened, yet he didn’t take his eyes off the bandages.

“I don’t believe that.” he remarked.

“What, that a wolfshifter can hurt another? ‘Cause that was our main recreation.”  _ our _ , he said, like he had had a choice at all. 

Steve shook his head, finally meeting Bucky’s eyes. His breath hitched with the hurt that set on his clear blue eyes.

“I don’t believe you’re bad.” his voice was light, but something told Bucky he knew how heavy those words were. 

An ugly smile crept on Bucky’s face as he averted his eyes, looking at the window instead. The rain was pretty bad this morning.

“It’s not like you  _ know _ me, is it?” he spat, throwing uncalled poison around. He knew he was harsh, but sometimes it was hard even for him to remember these people were strangers to him. Bucky knew Steve didn’t mean any harm with his words, but they were wrong.

He needed to remind them who they were dealing with. Who he was.

For some reason, Steve was still in place, frozen and looking at Bucky, as if waiting for more. Bucky gave in.

“I hurt people. I break things I touch, I watch them burn--”

“Stop it.” his tone was final, but that didn’t mean anything to him.

“Why? That’s who I am. That first day you told me you knew the ‘great’ Winter Soldier, and I thought you knew what that entailed. I killed before, I know I did, ‘cause I can’t forge each one of their faces.” his throat felt tight, so he closed his mouth before it faltered.

“Hydra made you do it. You were under a strong spell.” Steve was now frowning. It was as if defending Bucky from himself was his personal battle. 

“Well, yeah, they made me. But I still did it, didn’t I?” he turned to face Steve again. His own eyes were stinging, but he had to say it, he had to remind Steve who they were being kind to, “A weapon is still a weapon whether or not it’s used.”

Steve gulped as his body shook. His hands were now fisted into balls by his sides and he looked like he was holding himself back. Did he want to run? To approach? Either way, Bucky didn’t get to know, because Steve stood his ground.

“You see, I think it’s a matter of perspective,” his voice was calm, collected, if a little hoarse. “You seem to see yourself as a weapon, I see you as a survivor.”

Bucky clammed his mouth shut, stunned into silence. He didn’t notice when Steve finished cleaning the incense pot, but when Bucky blinked, he was alone.

_ Survivor _ , Steve had said. Was that what he was?

Steve’s words rang like an exact shot to his ears, almost deafening him. He grew uncomfortable on his own skin, the sheets and lumps from the bed bugging, growing tighter and harsher around him, yet he didn’t move.

Bucky’s eyes twinged with dryness. He blinked again.

When he came back to himself, the sun outside told him it was close to midday. The rain had stopped at some point and the heavy clouds opened a passageway for sunlight. The leaves were still drenched with rain, reflecting the light in tiny colorful particles before they dropped to the ground.

Bucky ventured out of the room, light steps a contrast to the heavy feeling nailed on his chest. Fortunately, he relaxed, Steve was nowhere to be seen. He hoped the man wasn’t wallowing about their discussion, wrapped around in comfort blankets. Another pang of guilt rose in his chest.

“He went to collect herbs, don’t worry about it.” Tony walked in from the kitchen, to which Bucky blinked a few times, stunned he didn’t see him there on the first place. 

Tony placed a heavy iron pan on the table, still steaming from the time it spent on the fire. It smelled heavenly, and with a growl from his stomach, Bucky realized he hadn’t eaten anything today.

Bucky silently helped Tony grab their plates and cutleries, three, in case Steve was back in time to eat with them, and sat them down, a little clumsy. It wasn’t easy doing all that only one handed, even if he did have a two weeks to get used to it.

“He told you.” Bucky stated as he served Tony’s and his plate of pasta, mushrooms and white sauce.

Tony shook his head, mumbling a thanks when Bucky placed his plate in front of him.

“I heard it.”

Bucky hummed and mentally kicked himself. Yes, great job, he thought bitterly, it’s what you wanted, wasn’t it? Get them against you, let them shoo you away.

He repressed a sigh and took a bite of his mushrooms, getting his mouth busy.

“You know, when I was brought in, I didn’t trust Steve either. I was too scared, too weak. And people don’t usually like shifters, yeah?” he gave Bucky smile, looking a little jaded, “But he took me in and took care of me. For no reason apparently, aside from seeing good in me.” Tony shook his head foundly, eyes unfocused as he remembered the past. Lucky him. “Good? I asked myself. I used to steal to survive, everyone turned their face from me. There was no  _ good _ in my life. But he showed me how, and I hope you can see it too, one day.”

Bucky mulled those words for the remainder of their lunch. He eyed the man silently, trying to imagine what he would have looked like scared and with his defences up. Had Tony been in his cat form? His heart squeezed as images of a defenseless small black cat trying to fight for himself rose in his mind.

He didn’t think he would have let Tony get away either, if he had been in Steve’s place.

The more he thought about it the more he saw himself in Tony’ position, except, maybe, instead of a cute little black cat, a huge white wolf, which was, fairly, scarier. People told him he was already scary in his human form. His frigid blue eyes and long hair did give people the impression of a maniac. Now maybe more so with the overgrown beard.

But… Bucky didn’t want to be depicted as scary anymore. His life could be more than that, he was free now to be whatever he wanted. Maybe that’s what Steve was trying to tell him about perspective.

Labeling himself as a weapon was like accepting defeat without barely trying, and he wasn’t the kind of person to give up easily. Giving up wasn’t the right answer. Dwelling on his pain and accepting defeat before trying to change, wasn’t the right answer, Steve had been right.

Slowly, after finishing his second bowl, he rose his head and, with his shoulders set, said to Tony.

“I want to be good.”

Bucky wanted to be a survivor.

Tony set his bowl down unceremoniously and rested his elbows on the table, leaning forward. The smile he gave Bucky was coated with pride as he tilted his head, barely containing his happiness. Bucky gulped drily, suddenly overwhelmed with the emotions dancing on Tony’s face.

If both he and Steve continue being so open about their emotions with him, future Bucky will definitely have a few problems.

“That’s great to know.”

The sun hadn’t yet set when Steve got back from his trip. His hair was sticking in every direction and his slump shoulders told Bucky all the druid wanted to do was lay face down in his bed. Steve usually came back tired from his trips, but today seemed more than that. Maybe their discussion caused it, Bucky’s mind supplied helpfully.

He brushed that thought aside and before Steve could enter his room, Bucky stopped him. He hesitated for a moment afraid Steve would dodge him, but got more determined when the man didn’t.

Bucky caught a flash of something cross Steve’s eyes and he instantly gave the druid an apologetic look.

“Steve…” Bucky started, feeling shame seeping in his skin. “I’ve been thinking a lot about what you said--”

“I’m sorry about it,” Steve interrupted with a guilty frown. “It wasn’t my place to say those things.”

“No, I think you’re right,” he shook his head, “I want to change, you know.” he took a deep breath and readied himself for his next words, “I’m ready for the cut.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I see some changings happening, huh. Lemme know what you think! <3


	5. Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA please enjoy this chapter, it's my fave one _for reasons._  
>  Again, thank you so much for commenting, I love each one of you!! <3 you guys are great!

“For the next few days, you’re going to have to drink this-- no buts, it’s a type of anesthetic...” Steve listed in his fingers the things Bucky could and could not do while getting ready to surgery. 

All in all, most things made sense, for instance, Bucky should stay put rather than help around or exercise. Which, yeah, hard to watch people needing your help to grab something in a top shelf or carry a bucket of water and not be able to do anything about it.

His dietary bothered him some. He was prohibited to eat a few of his favorite foods (like mushrooms) because the reaction with the potions would be bad. He made Tony promise that when the surgery was undergone he would feast in all types of edible fungi.

“...It’s going to feel strange at first, you’ll have the ghost feeling of a limb for a long time. It won’t feel great, but it’s better than what you have to deal with now.”

Bucky sobered up. A few shadows now decorated free open spaces on his expression.

“What’s the matter, Bucky?” Tony asked, tilting his head to the side. It was an innocent move, Bucky noticed, one that showed Tony was indeed worried. He shifted uncomfortably on the chair on the other side of the table from where they sat.

“It’s… frightening,” he admitted, “having only one arm, that’s going to be difficult to get used to, but it’s a risk I’m willing to take,” he took a long breath, “but what about my wolf form? I have met other shifters with a limb missing, but it ain’t easy. I saw their daily struggles and it takes a lot of practice to get to what they accomplished. I don’t know if I’m ready for that.”

Steve frowned, lost in thought as he tried quickly to come up with a solution. If Bucky had learned anything about his housemates this last few weeks is that Steve always tries to find another answer. Wasn’t that cute?

Steve opened his mouth to speak but Tony beat him.

“I’ve heard of a spell you can use to transform objects of your liking with your thought, isn’t that right, Steve?” Steve eyes widened and he nodded, catching up with whatever Tony was saying, “Which means, we can mold you an arm and place the spell over it, so you can transform it in any shape you want like, say, for example, a wolf leg.”

Steve bristled excitedly and tapped his hands on the wooden top.

“Tony, you’re a genius, that’s why I love you.”

Tony shrugged sheepishly and grinned.

“”Honey, ‘genius’ is my second name.”

Bucky felt uncomfortable for an entirely different reason now. He’d never seen Steve and Tony interacting so intimately near him, it made him feel like an intruder. But he gave a tiny smile and a small shake of his head when Tony eyed him, not sure if Tony had noticed Bucky discomfort or if he was giving him the eye for some other reason.

“And one last thing,” Steve gave him a serious look, getting back to the matter at hand, “This is not going to be easy. Cutting off an arm is painful. If it hurts too much, please, let me know. Tony said he wouldn’t mind staying next to you through the procedure, would you like that?”

“I can hold your hand if that’s fine by you.” Tony added.

Before Bucky could scowl and say he could deal with the pain alone, he hesitated. He started a new life now, a life of letting himself want things, a life of trusting and relying on people. If he really wanted to change from old patterns, it would be with small acts such as this.

“I’d like that.” he said instead.

Steve smiled proudly as if he noticed Bucky’s internal debate.

“That’s set, then”

-

The day of the surgery came faster than Bucky wanted to admit.

The potions room had the windows heavily covered and was mostly lightened by candles scattered around every surface available. Bucky felt dizzy as he was confronted with a strong scent of disinfectant when he stepped in, already clean and not wearing his shirt.

Steve walked around the small room, giving his supplies one last glance before washing his hands in a basin. He had his shirt sleeves carefully folded till his elbows which gave him an air of professionalism and, Bucky averted his eyes, shouldn’t be so sexy.

Tony came by his side a moment later, already interlacing their fingers supportively. He gave Bucky a reassuring nod and squeezed his hand. He nodded back, if anyone in the world could do this, it was Steve.

“Sleep.” were the last thing Bucky remembered Steve muttering to him after laying down in the bed.

What he remembered later were bits and pieces of flash images and conversation happening around him. Bucky remembered some pain, muffled, but always in the back of his mind. A voice reassured him somewhere it would go away, that it was for a good cause, and Bucky trusted it.

He was taken to the main room. He could see vividly the wooden door opening without a protest as someone gently brought him in and laid him in bed. It was so soft, and he might have said that aloud, because someone chuckled next to his ears, and he might have hummed pleasantly at the sound.

Two bodies laid on each side of him, and for the first time in a long time he felt at peace.

He woke up from his potion driven sleep some time in the night, grasping for consciousness for the first time after the surgery. Bucky didn’t panic as he shifted his glance around and found both Steve and Tony sleeping soundly with him in the middle.

He glanced over the room, taking in eagerly the little details from the room he never once stepped in. It had felt so intimidating on the outside, like an ominous force mixed with Bucky’s curiosity. But on the inside, on the other hand, it felt cozy, familiar even. 

Bucky frowned, that feeling probably came from the people sleeping next to him.

Tony’s face was close to his. Bucky watched those long lashes softly touching his cheekbones as he held back the urge to move the hair aside from his forehead and drop gentle kisses over it.

He wanted Steve to do the same to him. Wanted those small yet firm arms sneaking over his torso and feel Steve snuggling in close, all the while letting out a happy sigh, warming them.

Before he knew, his eyes fell heavy, drooping with sleep and taking him back to a dreamless state. But he didn’t need his dreams right now, not this time, not while being this close to the people he came to care for.

-

Waking up alone shouldn’t feel as lonely as it did, now that he was in their bedroom. Bucky ignored the squeeze from his heart in order to look out of the window just over the bed. The orange streaks of light told him it was late afternoon, which calmed some of his anxiety about it all.

They were probably giving him space to rest alone. So, instead, he got up and left the room, hissing mildly at the still open wound. Steve had said it would take a few days for it to completely heal and they could attach his new arm, which was already on the making, thanks to both owners of the house. But still, a few days was a lot faster than it would normally heal, if it wasn’t for Steve’s pastes and Bucky’s rapidly healing.

When he stepped out of the room, he wasn’t surprised to see them lodging in the couch near the door, each submerged on their own book. But as soon as they noticed him, Tony rose from his sit.

“Bucky!” he chided, fretting over Bucky like a mother hen.

“I’m fine, Tony.” Bucky grinned, a little content over his friend’s worry. He did actually feel fine. Having no arm was a thousand times better than having a dead weight that only served to bring him pain. “What are you reading?” his ask was directed at Steve, who hadn’t gotten up but was giving him a worried eye.

He snapped his head down to the book on his lap and tapped the green mossy cover gently. As Bucky approached, he noticed the paint was degrading on the corners.

“It’s a very old book.” Steve answered.

“Looks it was well read.” Bucky observed.

“Indeed.” Steve nodded, eyes suddenly far away as he blinked down at the book.

“The owner loves it a lot.” Tony provided, walking past Bucky and sitting back at his spot. Bucky tilted his head, confused.

“You mean it’s not either of you?”

“No, it’s,” Bucky didn’t miss the scolding Steve gave Tony, who only shrugged in return, “It’s from someone else… he lives here, but he’s, uh, not with us in the moment.”

Bucky frowned. Another person?

“Why?”

Steve winced, crossing his arms over his belly and successfully making himself small.

“It’s complicated… but I’m sure he’ll find his way back.”

“I hope so,” Tony added as he slumped against the couch.

Bucky shut his mouth. Whoever was this man, he seemed to be important to them, judging by their reactions.

_ There’s only one bedroom, _ his brain reminded him with a pang from his heart.

Of course, a lover. That’s-- yeah, that’s great. Awesome.

“I can lend you the book if you want to read it later. I think you’ll like it very much.”

“Yes, uh, that’s totally cool. Just leave it on the table when you finish, I’ll-- I’ll go get some rest. Bye.”

No, Bucky didn’t want to read their lover’s favorite book, that was--

Fuck, what did he get himself into?

He walked into his slash potions room and swooshed closed the new placed curtains. It only gave a sense of privacy, but that was enough for now.

-

_ “Are you sure you want to take him in?” _

_ “Of course, honey. Look at him, he looks terrified.” _

_ “He might be full of diseases--” _

_ “So we will help him out. Aren’t we the best at what we do?” _

_ A sigh followed by a beat of silence. _

_ “I guess so… he does look famished.” _

_ A hug and a sweet kiss. _

_ “Thank you so much. I love you tons.” _

Bucky shouldn’t, they were probably sleeping by now, or worse. His face got tinted a deep red at the thought.

But he didn’t want to be alone again, not while his room still smelled of his own blood. The pain from his shoulder woke him up, but the sleep didn’t seem to be coming back. That was why he now stood in front of their door, wondering if he should or should not knock.

What if they refused him, or worse, what if they accepted out of pity?

Yet the thought of walking all the way back to his makeshift bed and sleep alone in a room smelling of disinfectant and blood didn’t seem appealing.

He knocked twice, ignoring the way his stomach churned.

It didn’t take more than a few seconds for the door to open, though, which was awesome for his anxiety. Steve was in the other side of the door, eyes still glistening with sleep as he blinked at Bucky, trying to follow what was happening with a cloudy head.

“Couldn’t sleep.” Bucky said with a shrug.

Steve watched him for a few more seconds, still swooning a little, before he grabbed Bucky’s hand and pushed him gently inside, closing the door behind him.

“C’mere,” Steve mumbled, already lying back on bed and nudging Bucky on the arm so he would do the same. He hesitated for a moment, looking at Tony who was sleeping peacefully by Steve’s other side. Should he do this? Lie down with them once again? He was probably no one in their lives, just someone they were helping. What if their lover came home and saw him sleeping with them? 

All this questions and thoughts were running a mile per hour in his head as he stood there, one knee over the soft mattress while he looked from Tony to Steve. But seeing Steve’s expression, a mix of hope, happiness and something else, made him give in and lie with them.

He got surprised when Steve brought him closer until his head rested on the crook of Bucky’s neck. Bucky stiffened. Was the druid already half asleep? Should he wake him up? And more importantly, was he hearing Bucky’s fast heartbeats?

“You were so brave yesterday, Bucky. That makes me real happy,” Steve breathed out, unaware of the turmoil that unraveled in Bucky’s mind, instead, only adding confusion to the mix.

“Thanks,” he answered with a hint of doubt, but Steve was already snoring by the time Bucky had opened his mouth.

-

Bucky kept coming back to their room. Now that he got a taste of it, he couldn’t seem to sleep in his old room anymore. Not full nights, anyway.

It killed him to have to ask for a place in their bed. Even though it’s big and spacious, he wasn’t supposed to be there. Every morning he woke up with a bitter taste in his mouth and slipped out before either could wake up.

And in day time he tried to keep his distance from them. What good would it make if he got more attached than he already was?

He found a nice spot, just where the Forest turned into fields, to sit down and read in peace, where his thoughts could wander aimlessly. And he had to admit, at least to himself, Steve and Tony’s lover had a great taste in books.

So it was on the fifth night, he got up from his bed after a bad dream. He hadn’t had a nightmare in a while, but it seemed they would always come back, even when normally his mind was filled with caresses and kisses from faceless lovers.

In the dream, Hydra had taken him away. There had been fire and screams and someone had been crying. But the only thing he remembered thinking was how he had been torn apart from his lovers.

He stood in wobbly feet and closed his eyes, trying to wish the tears back before they fell. The only thing he wanted right now was a cuddle from Steve and Tony, and maybe hear everything was going to be alright.

But as he walked closer, he accidentally overheard them speaking.

“--so much better now, be patient, Tony,” Steve whispered, “It’s not like we can tell him right now, he’s still healing.”

“But what about the incense? Is it working?” Tony whispered back.

“I can’t tell you for sure, only time can.”

“Dammit,” Tony sighed, “I know, Steve, you are doing everything you can.” 

Bucky moved, curiosity sending his feet closer to the creak on the door so he could see better. They were both sitting in the bed, both with broken expressions in their face. Tony was looking at the floor with a frown like it personally offended him, while Steve had his eyes closed.

“Hydra’s enchantments are not easy to break. They sealed all his memories deep inside of him.”

Tony groaned and let his head fall in Steve’s smaller shoulder. 

“I know that… I just want our Bucky back.”

“Me too, Tones.” the air of renseignement fell heavy around them.

Bucky couldn’t breathe, couldn’t blink. All his muscles stiffened, freezing him in place as he watched Steve and Tony in the bed, their words in a cruel loop over his head.

Back? Want him back?

An involuntary sob left his throat and both heads snapped to his direction, each with their own surprised face.

“What?” He tried saying, but it came out weaker than he intended. Something wet fell from his widened eyes, tears mayhaps.

Why was he crying?

His mind took him back to a dream he had. He laid in the grass, watching the fields behind the hut and suddenly a voice, such a familiar voice, spoke.

“Bucky, hey, wake up. Sun’s going to burn you, you doofus.” the voice said. He knew that voice.

In his dream he smiled and grabbed the back of the person’s neck, bringing it to rest on his chest.

“Just for a little while,” he told the voice, “I’m sure he won’t even notice.”

“You are stupid to think he hadn’t already noticed.”

He gasped as the memory hit him. That had been Tony with him. It were the same blue eyes, same black hair, same snark in his voice.

It couldn’t be-- he, Bucky, didn’t know them before.

Or did he?

Another dream (or was it a memory?) emerged in his mind.

Bucky got up from bed, ready to collect some wood for the fire, when someone held him gently.

“Bucky please, don’t get out of bed, it’s cold.” it was Steve, god that had been  _ Steve. _

Memory him turned and watched as a sleepy Steve, only with half opened eyes looked at him get up. He snorted.

“Just get close to him, sweetheart, he’s a furnace.” Bucky pointed at Tony, still asleep, beautiful as ever and nudged them closer.

He would get the wood and come back to them. Anything for Steve and Tony.

“Fuck.” he groaned. Bucky breathed hard, finding it difficult to stand up. His vision was blurred with tears as nothing made sense anymore, but he could see two human forms coming closer to him.

Too close.

He flinched away, feeling the air around him constricting as they took up his personal space. But soon they stopped moving.

“Bucky?” Steve said, and he shivered. Hearing his name coming from Steve, the person who gave him the nickname in the first place, felt heavier, more loaded.

Another two memories washed over, two he remember well from his dreams.

They had found a small black kitten in their doorstep, Bucky was devastated. He was ready to take it inside, but Steve seemed taken aback at first. They talked it over and Steve gave in. The cat needed a home, needed food and love, and they provided it.

His eyes fell on Tony. It was-- that had been the day they took Tony in. Bucky remembered it now.

The other memory hadn’t been as kind.

Their house was burning to the ground. Steve’s magic hadn’t been enough to protect them from the Hydra invaders. Even Bucky in his wolf form couldn’t.

They took him away, Tony’s screams had reverberated over his mind as they took him farther and farther into the Forest. He remembered his cry, crying until they knocked him out.

Bucky fell on the floor, legs giving up on him. He shook miserably as tears fell on his thighs in an unstoppable stream. It felt like his head was going to explode, like a door that he didn’t even know was there in the first place unlocked, flowing with old memories from a time he had forgotten.

From a time he was happy and Steve and Tony were by his side. From a time he had a name.

“I’m--” his voice trembled. Bucky took a long breath and tried once more, “My name is James Barnes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise, surprise!! I know some of you already caught on this plot twist, and awesome work for you guys!! <3 Did you like this plot twisteyy?? Comment your thoughts!! And tomorrow comes the finale <3 (im sad ok :'( )


	6. Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooo here we are, at the ending. :'(   
> I want to thank you all for reading, leaving kudos and commenting <3 you guys are the sweetest, really.  
> Hope you enjoy this wrap up <3 Till next time!

James Barnes, also known as the White Wolf, lived an ordinary life.

He had never met his parents, which was a common thing for his kind. He’d always considered himself a lone wolf, that is, until he found his family. Steve had taught him the wonders of settling and having a peaceful life whilst Tony taught him that nothing is boring when you live together with the people you love.

Moving into a hut had been Steve’s idea, but James chose the place. There was nothing as peaceful as watching the wild grass swaying in the lazy afternoon breeze.

He let his gaze travel beyond the hills, that night, while his thoughts were miles away.

James knew there was something special about this place the moment he woke up in the potions room. Or, scratch that, he knew he was getting into something life changing the moment Tony appeared in the clearing after he burned Hydra to the ground.

Looking back, now that his memories were starting to come back to him, he should have realized they knew him a long time ago. Especially with the amount of mushrooms he had eaten the past weeks. Before this whole getting-his-memories-back ordeal, he only thought that maybe Steve and Tony cooked mushrooms everyday because they were easy to find. He didn’t complain, of course, mushrooms were, in the end, his favorite food.

But now something told James that most of Steve’s travels to the Forest were to pick him more mushrooms.

His heart squeezed. It was sweet of them, to take care of him the way they did when James didn’t even know them.

Must have been painful, too, he noted somberly.

Having a lover so close and not being able to express your love, or, having to smother all emotions so that you didn’t scare your lover away like a wounded animal, seemed too much for Bucky.

He didn’t know if he could have done it, if he were in their place. Maybe it was selfish on his part, but he wouldn’t be able to watch Steve nor Tony look at him with blank eyes, eyes that shown no memory of the life they had together.

He sniffed and brought his knees closer to his chest. His eyes were puffy from all the tears from earlier, but he kept them open, always looking straight ahead.

The swing of a black tail caught his eyes, but he didn’t have the energy to look up.

“Hey.” Tony said, sitting by his side.

James didn’t answer right away. His mind still felt like it had been scrambled ruthlessly. Inside his head, he had two different pictures of the two different men, and even though both of them made sense logically, his emotions were having a hard time comprehending everything. 

It was just a matter of time before things would go back to being simple again.

Tony didn’t seem to mind his lack of words, he just sat in silence for a while, watching the fields with him. Yet, with a jolt of his mind, James remembered something important.

“Your tail and ears pop up when your emotions get the best of you.”

Tony’s cat ears turned backwards, as if being caught was embarrassing for him. He searched for something in Bucky’s face before speaking.

“You remember it.” He observed.

Bucky hummed a yes.

“I remember a lot of things now. Like, how your favorite color is shiny gold, or how you love to sleep under the sun and that one of your favorite things to do is cuddle with me, human form of otherwise.”

Tony chuckled slightly.

“You got them all right.”

After a brief pause, Bucky spoke again.

“Tony, I’m not the person I once was. I need you guys to know that,” he turned his face slowly towards Tony, “Those five years with Hydra, which I won’t ever want to relive, changed me. They made me a monster, you know that. You saw me the day I escaped, and there wasn’t any good in me.”

Tony closed his eyes but gave Bucky a shaky smile.

“I know that,” his voice came out watery, “Steve knows that too. But Bucky,  _ James, _ whatever you prefer, If you think we are  _ ever _ letting go of your hand, you are mistaken. ‘Through the worst and through the best, we’ll be together till the end of the line’. Remember that?”

His heart blossomed with newfound hope as Tony quoted their chant from years ago. It was a stupid little thing, but right now, it was all Bucky needed. He sucked a sharp breath.

“One think I know for sure will never change is how much I love you two.” he said quietly, letting Tony take that information in.

His eyes were full of tears when Bucky looked up once again, but the smile he gave the wolfshifter was one of the brightest he ever seen. Tony’s hand found his own and gave it a soft squeeze.

“I know.”

James’s body moved more on his own than on his command as he turned his entire body to the side and captured Tony’s lips with his own. Tony, in turn, let out a surprised sigh but responded quickly, following Bucky in their kiss.

It felt better than anything Bucky had ever tried. It was like coming back to a new house or listening to a known melody for the first time. It was old yet brand new.

Bucky loved that.

-

FIVE MONTHS LATER

It’s been some time since he last had a nightmare so bad he couldn’t fall back to sleep again.

Bucky rolled in bed for what felt like an hour, or better-- stayed immobile while his lovers slept over him, trying to steal all of his warmth. He couldn’t blame them, it was indeed cold. His white fluffy tail covered most of Tony’s body as both he and Steve slept peacefully on top of his belly.

He sure had missed these blissful moments before dawn.

Buck rested his big, fur covered head next to Steve’s hand which had priorly been petting him to lull him back to sleep, before Steve himself had fallen asleep. Bucky rolled his eyes fondly. Steve’s intentions were always noble, but it was cute that he couldn’t stay awake for long.

If he couldn’t go back to sleep, maybe he should do something useful around their home.

Bucky transformed back into his human form, slowly so that he didn’t wake his partners. But as he rose from the bed, a soft hand caught his newly fixed stone arm. Steve had been afraid the past few months that Bucky wouldn’t have been ready for the prosthetic, and spent most of his time figuring out how to make it so flawless that it would never bother Bucky, while Tony helped him with everything else.

He loved his partners.

“Bucky? Don’t go,” Steve mumbled with a sleepy voice, “Come back to bed.”

He chuckled gently, freed his hand from Steve’s grip and carressed his soft blond locks before giving him a kiss on the lips. Steve melted instantly, opening fast for Bucky, but whined as Bucky pulled back before the kiss got too heated.

“Just get closer to Tony, sweetheart, He’s also a furnace,” a sense of déjà vu struck him as his hand fell from Steve’s face, “I’ll be right back.”

Bucky left the room and let out a surprised ‘oh’, looking at the thick layer of snow that piled up over the night outside. He’d do a quick job of getting a few logs, ignite the fire and make sure the living room felt warm and cozy for when his lovers woke up before joining back them in their cuddle winter pile.

James Barnes, also known as Bucky and the White Wolf, was finally living his ordinary life once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :') see yaa!   
> comments and kudos are always welcomed!  
> you can find me over [sparkly-angell](https://sparkly-angell.tumblr.com/) and [the stuckony dscord group](https://discord.gg/jtXcc3n)


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